Mary

Thank you for inviting me here,

Everything looks lovely.
Your parents are the best, dear

Life is so grand.

This meat is to tasty, so tender.

Must not have more than three bites though.

I'll have a few more green beans,

No, I really am quite full.

Excuse me for a moment,

Be back in a second.

I need to be alone for a while.

Pardon me.

The mirror is stained and my vision is blurry

And my old friend greets me again.

Staring back into the eyes of an angel

who's fallen, fallen again.

I wish I were a princess,

So fair and so thin.

Instead of feeling feeble from

Losing weight again.

Why am I doing this to myself

What am I doing this for

Why do I do this to myself

Who am I doing this for

I wish I were prettier

I wish I were thinner

Time to dry my eyes now,

my food's getting cold.

Lies

It's my fault.

I don't deserve better

I deserve to be treated this way.

I don't care how long you are gone.

I understand that you cannot be faithful.

It's my fault.
These are tears of happiness.
My makeup covers the bruise.

You didn't mean to do it.

I sometimes make you hit me.

It's my fault.
I think you are a good spouse.
I feel safe with you.
I don't want to run away from you.

This is where I belong.

Advice

Crows feet embrace his eyes,
A knowing squint, telltale signs of wisdom
Looking out, beyond the present
Into young eyes staring back in awe.

Waving smoke from his face,
Flippant yet defiant.
And the delicate, subtle stench of fine cognac,
Wafted lazily with each syllable.

You are too young to know
That the world has different intentions.
It's a sad state of affairs

when the world isn’t as sunny as it seems.

You haven’t quite learned
That fate shows no pity, no compassion
You’ll soon see nothing but grief around you

As chance metes out our consequence

Young eyes dim and lips begin to turn down
on the face of a crestfallen child

The man realizes the sails have been shorn

While his gaze softens , he says:

Now there, it’s not all that bad
There’s plenty of good in this world, take
This moment, this second, this very instant

Is worth all the pain I've experienced.

Lost and Found

As emotions and commotion
tend to swirl and surround…
We are lost and found

Our souls are hollow, simply follow
‘cause we’re blind and bound…
We are lost and found

Time for battle, herded cattle
On the proving grounds...
We are lost and found

Overburdened, that’s for certain
And now we've been crowned….
We are lost and found

They enslave us, and betray us
Spin us ‘round and ‘round…
We are lost and found.

See the fire of desire
as the world burns down…
We are lost and found

Good

Hues of amber pierce through nothingness.
Strident lights that signify new hope
Reveal gentle ripples on the surface of uncertainty.

Will they sustain you…suspend you?
Perhaps they will simply observe?
No, its purpose is to envelop you
To fill the entire void of your soul.

And in that moment,
Oblivious to the notion of time.
The cool embrace of conformance
Makes you feel whole.

Shiver

You caught me off guard; I didn’t see that coming.
It’s not like I didn’t know this day would come,
But to be honest, I wasn’t quite prepared.

You crept inside,
Stealthily,
Disarmingly,
Confusingly,
And leave the next step to me?

But it’s you that has the master plan!
It’s you on whom I rely!
I only fear that my affections will cause you
To see me as I truly am.

Scared, weak,
Impotent by the thought of your love
Your caress, your fragrance.
This is my penance for squandering away, as
Past gifts lay before my feet.

You are the enforcer of my karmic balance,
Yet I delight in this series of events.
I bask in the thought of you wrenching my heart,
As I have grown tired of running,
Running,
Running away
From myself.

Pretend

I stand alone,
Embracing my solitude amidst the masses.
Rushing, stumbling,
Pretending that I’m not there.

I cry alone,
Embracing my agony amidst the whispers.
Taunting, prodding
As though I should not be there.

I kneel alone,
Embracing my memory amidst the flashes.
Suffering, numbing
Pretending that I’m not there.

I walk alone,
Embracing my confidence amidst my pain.
Pulling, dragging
As though I was not there.

Either Way

Please don’t worry, what’s the hurry, don’t disturb me,
Should we walk down this road again?
Let’s discover, in each other, who we are now,
As we walk down this road again.

Either way, here I am; I thought you'd like to know.

What’s the danger of two strangers that exchange words?
Should we walk down this road again?
Simple shadows overshadow who we are now,
As we walk down this road again.

Either way, here I am; I thought you'd like to know.

I still wonder, going under, how I blundered
Should we walk down this road again?
Let’s keep going without knowing who we are now
As we walk down this road again.

Either way, here I am; I thought you'd like to know.

Recovery

I am here for you.
I do what you want me to.
But why don’t you call out to me?
Why won’t you let me be?
Cause I am nothing without you?
And I just want to be with you?

I can’t take much more of this.
I taste the bitter sweetness.
But why you don’t call out to me?
And still you won’t let me be?
Cause I am nothing without you.
And I still want to be with you.

I am done with you.
I won’t do what you want me to.
And now, you call out to me?
Why won’t you let me be?
Cause I am something without you?
And I don’t want to be with you?

And you mean nothing to me.